Time Warp

It’s one of the gloomy days I had here in Los Baños. The sky turned dark grey…so quiet that I can only hear the thick of my keyboard. I open my play list, just to create noise. First song in the list is ‘Love, love, love’ by T.Prettyman…the song made me sad, I don’t know why. I released my window blinds and saw a tree (not sure if it’s an ipil-ipil) with its green leaves so still. The tree lures me because it is directly perpendicular with my window. I was hypnotized and I can’t help but to daydream. I look closely at its brilliant flowers, hoping it would elicit happy thoughts and memories. Unfortunately, the sky is so dark and all I can think of are my sob stories.

The scenery is so perfect for those who wish to die at this very moment. One black bird is alone gliding in the dark sky…probably trying to enjoy its freedom while it’s not yet raining. A gloomy tree, trying to be happy with its yellow flowers, stood calmly as if waiting for the heavy rain. The tree is not moving, not even a single leaf attempt to move…it’s like a lonely heart trying not to breath. An Enya song will complete this dimness.

I traveled so far just by looking at the tree. A particular song repeatedly play in my mind…After all the pain you caused me, making love could never be your intention, you’d never know how much you hurt me, still can’t you see, that I wanna fall from the stars straight into your arms…
Please anyone, perform a rain dance for me…All I wish is for the heavy rain to make this tree happy. I'm trapped...Disrupt this time warp for me.

Anonymous you and me

I look at you, you look at me

We do this endlessly
I’m trying to read your mind
Not sure if you can read mine
My senses are wavering
Not wanting to invest on this feeling
Why can’t you see me?
When I’m here softly screaming
You rock my world
In just few words
I guess this is how it should be
I look at you, you look at me…

Tribute to a dearest friend (another post from my friendster blog)

I haven't got the chance to speak much about my friend Gani, but this guy is one of the friends I will forever cherish. We used to eat lunch together, mostly in Philcoa because it’s the nearest place in his office. Gani was a ‘cool geek.’ =) A wide reader, who can talk about Marx in a different light, who can argue with me about queer theory, and so on. He’s my personal counselor, particularly with issues of heart. He holds my hand and tells me how beautiful I am that I should not be wasting my time on useless relationships. His way of consoling me is a tranquilizer that keeps me calm when I feel that time is running out and I’m losing everything (in short kapag agitated ako to meet my own deadlines,wehehehe).

Last December 31, I lost a funny and caring friend in a vehicular accident. He passed away on the very moment we decided not to bug each other because I'm on the field shooting the video of the festival, which is the focus of my thesis. He was also preoccupied with his proposal that time, the reason why the last text I received from him says that we will have a busy week ahead so we will just meet in Diliman for lunch after my field work. I did not have the chance to text him during New Year’s Eve that is why I'm clueless to what happened to him. Part of me says, I should have texted him, just so his family could have inform me immediately. However, it’s not a thing to lament because knowing Gani, he would not appreciate it if I’ll mourn on the ‘what ifs.’ He's a carefree soul.

Remembering him now, I can’t forget one of the last text messages he sent. It goes this way… “Kapatid, according daw to Lilian Rubin, in our lives there are people we consider friends of the road and there are friends of the heart. I consider you as my friend of the heart. Ingat lagi. Gud luck sa defense!”


Gani, you will always be my friend of the heart…

Lessons learned the hard way (blog ko to sa friendster)

When you are c, you will realize the stupidity of boys who continuously use lines that they believe as polite ways of saying goodbye, not knowing that these will only aggravate your feelings, because you repeatedly heard them for years. To all the guys who happened to read this, kindly forgive my sarcasm (if you get hurt, then maybe you are not yet a man but a boy). I might sound mean and sexist but admit that these lines are some of your unforgivable gestures. You better try to learn from this Blog. At least you know how a woman feels when you say these lines, so better think of some alternatives.

5 Stupid Lines that suck: To all the ladies, beware! The words may sound polite, but they lack honesty.

STUPID LINE #1.It’s not you, it’s me…I need to find myself. (like duh? Where did you put it anyway? Oh boy, try finding it in the garbage can!)
TRANSLATION: Your in-love with me but I’m not in-love with you anymore, so I need to find another girl.

STUPID LINE #2.You have all the qualities a guy dreamt of…I don’t deserve you. (This excuse is totally unacceptable! Nobody choose to throw away a diamond. Given ‘all the qualities’ a guy dreamt of and you still don’t want the girl, then what are you looking for, pea brain?!)
TRANSLATION: Try to find someone else because I no longer like your qualities and/or you.

STUPID LINE #3. I need some space… (Oh, I see… Are you an astronaut by profession?!)
TRANSLATION: Let’s part ways. Please get lost!

STUPID LINE #4. I’m sure you can still find a better guy than me. (Imagine if all guys think this way, would there be anyone left to be the ‘better guy’? hahaha!)
TRANSLATION: I don’t want to feel the guilt of leaving you, so I just label myself as a ‘bad guy.’ Please leave, find someone else.

STUPID LINE #5. My ex-gf is suicidal and doesn’t want to break up with me. (Why do you call her an ‘ex’ if you haven’t got the chance to break up with her? Come on guys, don’t use other girls to dump your lady, it’s totally unfair! If you have a pea brain, at least compensate your dumbness with a backbone.)
TRANSLATION: Actually she’s not an ex-girlfriend, I love her, and I chose her over you, bye, bye!

To all the ladies, be careful in finding a mate, you don’t want to end up having a relationship with a Neanderthal who pretends to be a Homo Sapien. Boys will be boys, just like Peter Pan, they will never grow up, so better find a man.

yari na ing Kaleldo

Mekipangalamanu ku karing kaluguran kung Ilokano. Migpakatuling kami keng dagat anyang maleldo.

Dirutan ing Cagayan, at minta Gonzaga ampong Sta.Ana.

Diniretso Pagudpud, Baluarte, Vigan at Batac.

Melilyu keng biyahe at mengan nang mengan asan.

Ating nang pusit, pugita ampong lapu-lapu.

Nanu pa mo ing anyawaran ku?

Kaya ngeni yari ne ing kaleldo.